Happy V-Day
Here’s something I wrote at a time when my so-called marriage was at its best.
......................
Brenda said
she wants me to take her out on Valentine’s Day. This puts me in a bit of a
dile...
On brave Americans and goats of darkness
Dear Bryan,
I do apologise. The world is full of inconsequential Bryans and I am sure the last thing a man of your stature would want is to be confused with the multitude of Bryans who lack the...
Cut & Run
The only power Eskom has is the power to unite South Africans against a common enemy. That's quite an achievement. Read more in today's column in The Citizen. If you can't find a copy, you can always ...
Care for a little whine with that?
South Africa has overtaken Britain as the world’s foremost nation in whining and complaining. Service is too slow. Crime is too high. Standards are too low. Too many taxis. Not enough sex. Too many w...
King of Spades Screws Queen of Diamonds
Our well-padded mining minister, Gwede Mantashe, opened the 25th Mining Indaba in Cape Town today. Sadly, I wasn't there to applaud his hollow assurances that South Africa was safe for investors and t...
One for the road – do it for your country
I long for the day that we are number one in the world. I'm not talking about jejune frivolities like rugby or cricket, but something far more significant. Not too long ago we were almost hailed as th...
Cut & Run
My column is in today's Citizen, what with it being Wednesday and all. If you can't get a copy of the newspaper, you can always subscribe. A single edition costs R7. If you can't afford that, give Bos...
An interview with the author
How did you get into writing?
When I was around five years old, I was
sent to this building that had lots of rooms. A strange woman gave me
and some other children coloured pencils and made us copy...
Dear Barman
“Two Windhoeks and a Jack on the rocks, please.”
“Sorry?”
“Two Windhoeks and a Jack.”
“Sorry?”
“TWO WINDHOEKS …”
And so it begins. I have just walked into your bar and
already my idea o...
I’m back …
Here we go again. The Citizen newspaper has kindly and courageously offered me a home for my column. My first tabloid! This is tremendously exciting.
Cut & Run appears for the first time today ...
2019 – Your Stars
After a close
encounter with a celestial body on New Year’s Eve, I had an epiphany so
powerful that I had to go home and change my broeks. It was downhill from then
on.
All indications
are that 20...
A guide to surviving New Year’s Eve
New Year’s Eve. My liver huddles up
against my spleen and whimpers at the mere mention of it. Come out,
you lily-livered coward. I need you now more than ever.
The Anno Domini system, which counts
...