Isolation for the nation
There's almost a festive atmosphere in our supermarkets at the moment. Trolleys are full and the queues are long. It feels a bit like Christmas, but instead of exchanging gifts we're going to be givin...
Peter Pandemic and his pet pig
This latest pandemic panic reminded me of a column I wrote eleven years ago when we were all preparing to die from swine flu. Here's a flashback to that terrible time.
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Don Jr and the Beach Boys are killing it
Dear Safari Club International,
I just wanted to wish you well for your annual trophy hunting bonanza that kicked off in Reno, Nevada, today.
Thousands of hunters from around the world are there...
Time to keelhaul the buccaneers
It's hard enough to sell books without Internet pirates filching your stuff.
I discovered this was happening when I came across "Jack" asking his band of brigands where he could get a copy of my la...
Pulp non-fiction – A murder story
In the perilous world of publishing, there is something called 'sales or return'. It works like this. Bookshops will order so many copies of a new title. If those get sold, they might order more.
U...
A letter to the ‘General’
Dear Harry Knoesen,
I know you can't see me, but I have just saluted you in proper military fashion. Because I don't have a beret, boshoed or staaldak, I have a tea cosy on my head. Not ideal, I kn...
A survival guide to Black Friday
It's that time of year when we all turn into gibbering idiots and experts take it upon themselves to advise us on the blindingly obvious. In the event of a thunderstorm, avoid standing in an open fiel...
Buy buy baby
Hark, the Christmas tills do ring. The season of giving, taking, looting, stabbing and shooting is almost upon us. The Little Drummer Boy has already driven me from at least two malls.
All you can ...
The dark side of change
It’s unlikely I was the only one suffering from a minor medical emergency last Sunday. Having tried all the regular remedies – aspirin, fried food, suicide – I dragged my shattered carcass off to the ...
Get your Durban Poison here!
I promised that my new book would be available on my website and, lo, it has come to pass. Praise be.
I'm happy to devalue your copy by scribbling something in it. If you want it inscribed to someo...
Boks, beer and a brand new book
Right. It's the day after the big win and I know how you are feeling. But you're in luck. I happen to have the perfect cure for a crushing hangover. It's my new book, Durban Poison, and it will help t...
A requiem for Gavin Watson
The news that one of South Africa's best loved white-collar criminals has died in a car crash reminded me of a letter I wrote to him and his brothers earlier this year.
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Dear Gavi...