An open letter to Botswana President Mokgweetsi Masisi
Dear Mr President,
Well
done on successfully hosting a regional conference with the theme Towards a
Common Vision in Managing Southern Africa’s Elephants. Thanks to you, the
visiting heads of state...
Run, Caster, Run
Imagine a brain surgeon so good at what he does that people would rather die than take their brains elsewhere to be repaired. Imagine he was in such demand that all the other brain surgeons were force...
How maths ruined my life
I was appalled
to hear that President Ramaphosa had bestowed a national order on none other
than William Smith, a man with a mastery of a subject that is beyond inhumane.
It was like hearing that the ...
Earth Hour is over
Thank fuck for that.
With the exception of Happy Hour, I am not overly interested in anything that lasts for only sixty minutes. The other thing is this. I have never felt particularly close to the...
Happy St Patrick’s Day
Why is it that
the Irish have all the fun? To be sure, there was that nasty business with the
potatoes in 1845, but if it weren’t for the Great Hunger, Boston and New York
wouldn’t be the same today.
...
Oz doesn’t need more wizards
A
lot of mainly white South Africans choose to emigrate to Australia because
there is plenty of sunshine and pubs. And also because … well, as Australian
filmmaker and author Stephen Hagan puts it, "A...
The fast and the furious, the fucked and the feckless
So parliament has approved yet another malevolent piece of legislation. The Aarto Amendment Bill will now be sent to the president to be signed into law. Its full catchy title is the Administrative Ad...
Hooked & Cooked
There has been a flurry of excitement in
shark circles along the east coast.
“Have you heard the news?” said Mr Zambezi.
“Of course not,” said Mr Tiger. “We don’t
have ears.”
“Well, we have i...
Budgets for eejits
Here are some of the things that should have been in today's budget speech by finance minister Tito Mboweni.
R5-billion corruption slush fund which civil servants can
access without dipping into mo...
War whores
So the South African National Defence Force plans
to "invade" Sunrise Beach in Muizenberg on Tuesday night. On Monday
night there’s a practice run.
As part of Armed Forces Day – a day proclaimed by...
King of Spades Screws Queen of Diamonds
Our well-padded mining minister, Gwede Mantashe, opened the 25th Mining Indaba in Cape Town today. Sadly, I wasn't there to applaud his hollow assurances that South Africa was safe for investors and t...
The lighter side of domestic violence
Unlike
witch-burning, wife-beating has never really declined in popularity among the
ill-bred lower classes. Men who work with their hands (if they work at all)
have for centuries used assault and bat...