Hey babe, take a walk on the solo side
I was standing outside my house last week wondering if I should go for a stroll or scratch the day and go back to bed. It was about midday. Just then a car drove slowly past. The driver saw me and sta...
Money for nothing, Covid for free
Aside from dying, another unpleasant side effect of this contemptible virus is that everything comes with a form that needs filling in. For instance, if you have lost your job and hope to get money fr...
Scaring the nation with their guns & ammunition
I was surprised to hear that police in America kill roughly a thousand people a year. Not very impressive for a country that size. Here, our police get through that many in a month. Okay, I'm exaggera...
Dear Donald Trump …
Hail President Trump, King of the Free World.
Congratulations on ... well, everything, really. There is nothing you do or say that doesn't deserve accolades of the highest order. Everything about y...
June goes well with alcohol
I cannot bring myself to write another column about the only thing people are writing columns about. How much more can be said about a virus, a lockdown or a government that ... I can't. I just can't....
Surfers waive the rules
In these outlandish times, the measure of all things needs to be constantly recalibrated if we hope to stand a chance of emerging relatively healthy and sane. So I don't know if what is happening is a...
Of pork pies and piglets
Bit tricksy, this lifting of the locky-locky.
We don't know how it's going to work, but then again, I'm pretty sure they don't either. In South Africa, the word 'they' is a bullet that's been fired...
Truth, lies and exercise
I hear lots of crazy stuff all day long and it's not always just in my head either. For instance, I heard that the reason the government is keeping its Covid-19 modelling data from the public is becau...
Dear Cyril …
Dear Comrade President Ramaphosa, Defender of the Lockdown, Punisher of the Pandemic, Destroyer of the Economy, Nemesis of Smokers and Drinkers.
May I call you Cyril? I don't mean to be overfamilia...
The working class (and Covid-19) can kiss my arse
The 1st of May used to be an actual thing. Now, nobody cares. Here's something I wrote a few years ago during happier times.
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The month of May will not be merry. There...
And that’s the end of Cosmo
Associated Media Publishing, the flagship of the Raphaely empire, is closing shop after 38 years. No more Cosmopolitan. No more House & Leisure. No more Good Housekeeping.
In tribute to Cosmo, he...
Lockdown Extended – words to make you weep
My ungovernable publisher, Melinda Ferguson, has made good on her threat to bring out a new ebook by this weekend.
Lockdown Extended is now available for download on Kindle or Kobo (links below).
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