Dear Alabama Senate
Congratulations on passing what is being hailed as the most restrictive abortion bill in the United States! Me and my buddies are gonna slaughter a lamb right now to celebrate the sanctity and preserv...
An open letter to Botswana President Mokgweetsi Masisi
Dear Mr President,
Well
done on successfully hosting a regional conference with the theme Towards a
Common Vision in Managing Southern Africa’s Elephants. Thanks to you, the
visiting heads of state...
Run, Caster, Run
Imagine a brain surgeon so good at what he does that people would rather die than take their brains elsewhere to be repaired. Imagine he was in such demand that all the other brain surgeons were force...
How maths ruined my life
I was appalled
to hear that President Ramaphosa had bestowed a national order on none other
than William Smith, a man with a mastery of a subject that is beyond inhumane.
It was like hearing that the ...
The Ben Trovato Files
Who among us doesn't remember satirist Ben Trovato's outrageously subversive trilogy of letters to and replies from the rich, famous and downright dangerous? Well, the madness continues as the letters...
The fast and the furious, the fucked and the feckless
So parliament has approved yet another malevolent piece of legislation. The Aarto Amendment Bill will now be sent to the president to be signed into law. Its full catchy title is the Administrative Ad...
On brave Americans and goats of darkness
Dear Bryan,
I do apologise. The world is full of inconsequential Bryans and I am sure the last thing a man of your stature would want is to be confused with the multitude of Bryans who lack the...
Cut & Run
The only power Eskom has is the power to unite South Africans against a common enemy. That's quite an achievement. Read more in today's column in The Citizen. If you can't find a copy, you can always ...
Care for a little whine with that?
South Africa has overtaken Britain as the world’s foremost nation in whining and complaining. Service is too slow. Crime is too high. Standards are too low. Too many taxis. Not enough sex. Too many w...
King of Spades Screws Queen of Diamonds
Our well-padded mining minister, Gwede Mantashe, opened the 25th Mining Indaba in Cape Town today. Sadly, I wasn't there to applaud his hollow assurances that South Africa was safe for investors and t...
One for the road – do it for your country
I long for the day that we are number one in the world. I'm not talking about jejune frivolities like rugby or cricket, but something far more significant. Not too long ago we were almost hailed as th...